


"I Feel" Statements

by CandyCains



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Hunter Dean, Idiots in Love, In the bunker, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Same universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:22:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7151027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCains/pseuds/CandyCains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone flirts with Castiel, and Dean gets angry. Castiel has no idea why, but a couples therapy technique Dean sees on the internet is gonna reveal a lot more than either of them expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I Feel" Statements

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I never saw the signs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3802573) by [biblionerd07](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biblionerd07/pseuds/biblionerd07). 



Dean is cleaning off the blood from his machete from their last hunt, while Sam and Castiel do an inventory check. They had been called in for backup from a fellow hunter, one Lana Baten, who had an entire nest of vampires and a partner with the flu. 

 

Sam goes ahead to tie up any lose ends with the police department. Meanwhile, Dean, Castiel, and Lana are left to clean up the old house the vampires had been using as a nest. 

 

Castiel zones out a little as he searches the perimeter for any disturbances. He is jostled back to the earthly plane by Dean, who gently bumps him with his shoulder.

 

“Come on man, we all know that angel crap is just an excuse not to get dirty.” says Dean, winking as he does in a promise that it’s all in jest.

 

“It is a very nice coat.” he says without any tonal inflections. Dean lets out a snort. Castiel manages to keep his face cool and relaxed, despite the fact that he still feels a little tingly were Dean brushed their shoulders together. 

 

The tingling intensifies as Castiel, hyper aware of Dean’s movements, feels their knuckles brush accidentally as Dean reaches down to pick up another plastic bag for the bodies. 

 

Perhaps Dean has been working on shedding the tough exterior of masculinity his father forced him into, or perhaps Dean is finally learning how to trust Castiel again after all his terrible mistakes. Either way, Dean’s subtle progression towards openness is making Castiel simultaneously proud and heart broken. Every sliver of affection teaches Castiel that there is so much more to Dean that he will never be able to experience the way he wants.

 

Dean straightens up, stretching back until his back pops. “Hey man, let’s go get some coffee after this,”he suggests, “We’ll see if they have any of that organic honey you like.”

 

Castiel’s lips pull up slightly, and he nods his assent. Dean returns to the task at hand, when Lana’s voice makes them both turn around.

 

“Hey Cassy.” Lana marches up to them, flipping her dark braids back as she does so. “I gotta say, you are pretty amazing with a blade.”

 

“Thank you,” Castiel says, reluctantly pulling his eyes away from Dean. “I trained for many years.” He’s not sure how much Lana knows, but Dean has drilled it into his head that, when in doubt, it is best to appear human. 

 

“Yup.” Dean calls from a little ways away near the car. “He’s one of a kind.” Castiel warms at the compliment.

 

Lana looks Castiel up and down with a hungry glint in her eye. “Mmm I can certainly see that. Look at those gem-stone eyes.”

 

They hear Dean cough suddenly, in a way that Castiel knows is meant to cover up a snort. He can see why. He doesn’t often experience flirtation so blatant that even he catches on, and it has always amused Dean to see him flail.

 

“So, Castiel,” She says, snapping his attention back to her. “You want to hook up some time?”

 

Castiel hesitates. He looks at Lana full on. She is certainly not unattractive. Her dark skin is smooth and her face is round, and she is pleasantly thin, though not particularly curvy. Still, while she is aesthetically pleasing, Castiel cannot find himself particularly attracted to her, and he is fairly certain it has something to do with the man standing a few feet away, clearly eavesdropping on their conversation.

 

He tries to remember some of the excuses he has heard Sam use in the past with other hunters. “I apologize Lana. I am sure I would enjoy our copulation. However, we already have a hunt lined up. It is an urgent matter that we must attend to. Perhaps if we meet again.” ‘Perhaps then I won’t be so hopelessly in love’ he finishes in his head. 

 

Lana nods a few times, and pulls a business card with her phone number on it out of her wallet. “Give me a call if you ever finish that hunt.” She whispers slyly. She turns and heads up to her car, leaving Castiel with the distinct impression that she had not been talking about the actual hunt. 

 

Castile turns and faces Dean, who is completely finished with clean-up and waiting in the Impala. Castiel slides in next to him, expecting a wolf whistle or a pat on the back from Dean, but Dean is staring intently ahead. As soon as he hears the buckle clique, he speeds off to the motel without a word. 

 

They don’t stop by any coffee shops like they had planned. The entire trip is silent.

 

Dean is the conversationalist of the three, so the brooding silence that he emanates is palpable. He has tried to find the root of the cause, but Dean simply heads off to do something else or head to the bar. It is clear that he is not extending any form of an invitation towards Castiel.

 

Castiel is reading an old, battered Wilde novel near one in the morning, maybe flipping the pages a little too aggressively. Dean isn’t back from wherever he goes when he tries to avoid the bunker, and Castiel is resolutely trying not to think about how he is probably falling into the arms of a woman. So far he is failing. 

 

He is about two thirds of the way into the novel when he hears the bunker doors creak open. Heavy boots clunk down the stairs slowly, indicating that it is Dean rather than Sam, who has a much brisker walk.

 

Dean goes to the kitchen, and Castiel hears the light clang-hiss of bottles being opened. He returns to the library with a bottle in each hand. 

 

He slams one bottle in front of Castiel and chugs down half the other himself. Castiel takes a courtesy sip, despite not really enjoying the taste. He has read that it is impolite to let someone drink alone.

 

Dean puts the beer down, and then reaches over to pluck the novel out of his hands and toss it carelessly to the side, despite Castiel’s indignant noise.

 

Dean squares his jaw and looks at Castiel like he is resisting the urge to look away. “Sam’s always harpin' on me about ‘expressing my feelings’ or whatever so...ugh I’ve been doing some research on the internet.”

 

Castiel is completely lost, so he responds as best he can. “Have you?”

 

“Yeah, I have,” says Dean. His fingers absently dig at the label on the bottle, while his hand is gripping tightly. “The internet says some I should be making ‘I feel’ statements or something, so...you don’t have to, it’s stupid.”

 

Castiel, reaches towards his distressed friend. He hesitates, before calculating that yes, this would be considered a socially acceptable time to place a hand on a friend’s arm. “Dean,” he says, ducking his head a little so that he can look into his friend's eyes. “I  _ feel _ that what you are about to say is not stupid”.

 

Dean stiffens under the touch, but doesn’t pull away. “Okay Cas. Um, I  _ feel _ like I have been trying pretty hard for you.”

 

Castiel’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. Dean shakes his head. “Ugh, I mean I  _ feel  _ like I meant more to you. And I  _ feel  _ like you are…” Dean stops. He opens his mouth but then closes it again. 

 

Pulling his arm out from under Castiel’s hand, he says. “I  _ feel _ like maybe you think I should try even more, be more open or something. But I’m trying, I swear.”

 

Castiel shakes his head. “Dean, I have certainly noticed that you have been more open and affectionate in public. I am very proud of you for your continued struggle to accept who you are. Do not doubt that I am proud.”

 

Dean looks at him. “You are?”

 

I am.

 

“Then why the hell-.” Dean hesitates. “I mean, I  _ feel _ confused, because I thought we had a good thing going.”

 

“I believe-”, Dean cuts him off with a glare. “My apologies, I  _ feel _ that we do have a good thing going.”

 

“Well, I  _ feel _ like you really, ugh this is so stupid, I  _ feel _ betrayed that you would flirt with someone else with me right there.”

 

Castiel is still confused. “I am very sorry Dean. I thought it was alright to ‘flirt’ as you say, in front of others.”

 

“Not when you’re in a relationship, Cas!” yells Dean, balling up his fists. His eyes slightly red, as though there were tears about to fall from his eyes. 

 

“Dean, which relationship?” Castiel asks alarmed, reaching for him, but Dean only jerked back with a shuddering gasp.

 

“Do-do you not want to be in a relationship? What did I do wrong? Please, Castiel, tell me.”

 

“A relationship with whom?” Castiel cries, 

 

Dean’s arm flaps out wildly, barely in control. “With me, dumbass.”

 

When Castiel stops, he really stops. His heart stops beating. The blood in his vessels stop flowing. His muscles stop even the subtlest of contractions. He stops completely, and stares, mouth slightly agape. “Dean, do you want to start a relationship with me?”

 

Dean stares back, eyes wide. “I-I thought. We aren’t in one?”

 

“Well if we are I certainly was not aware of it, although that certainly explain the conversation Sam had with me about how to properly put on condoms.” Castiel, stamped down any flicker of hope. He was well aware of Dean’s tendencies to phrase conversations of friendship as something more, despite it not being so.

 

Dean blanches. “Oh god.”

 

“No it’s alright, it was very informative.”

 

“Not that,” stutters Dean, his face a brilliant shade of pink. “Castiel, I thought that we had been dating this entire time.

 

The blood that had stopped, the heart that had stood still, immediately roars to life. Warmth spreads through every single cell and high into his cheeks. “You mean you wanted to date me? Do you want to date me Dean?”

 

He leans in to take Dean’s arms in his, to crawl into his lap like has longed to for years, yet Dean bolts from his chair before he can.”Oh Jesus,” he pants, making his way around to the exits. Castiel follows him. “Oh god, Castiel. I am so sorry. I am so stupid. We just kept going to the movies and eating out just the two of us.”

 

Castiel’s lips twitch upwards. “I believe that if you don’t call them dates, it is very difficult to discern the difference between that and ‘hanging out’ as you say.” 

 

If it was even possible, Dean turns redder. He edges back, reaching for a door handle to make a quick escape. “Oh man. I’m so sorry Cas. I don’t know why I expected that an angel like you would fall for someone like me. I’m such an idiot.”

 

Castiel frowns and grabs his hand before it can turn the handle on the door. “Dean, just because I didn’t know I was on a date, does not mean that I did not enjoy myself.”

 

Dean stares into the eyes he has had memorised for years, and asks in a low voice, “What are you saying here, Cas?” He asks so carefully, so fearful to hope after years of hardship and pain.

 

Castiel cradles Dean’s face in both hands. “I am saying that every time we went out, I longed to be able to slip my hand into yours. To  hold you. To love you and to call you mine. I have longed to be yours, Dean Winchester, O’ Righteous Man.” He caresses his freckles with the pad of his thumb.  

 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to kiss you now.” And he does, crushing their lips together desperately and sweetly, and perfectly.

 

The next day, they go on their first date.

 

And this time, both of them are aware that it’s happening.

  
  


***

 

Sam wheezes from laughing so hard, doubled over and clutching his stomach. “How- how,” Sam bursts into another fit of giggles.

 

“How did he not realize you were dating? I figure kissing would be a pretty big clue, right?” He gasps out, when he has finally calmed down enough.

 

Dean blushes and looks at the floor. “I just thought he was old fashioned. I was gonna kiss him on our six month anniversary.”

 

Sam grins. “The six month anniversary that wasn’t real because one of you didn’t know you were dating?”

 

Dean crosses his arms and refuses to say anything else, while Sam collapses into another fit of laughter.

 

“Sam,” says Castiel knowingly, “I _ feel _ like you are being a tad disrespectful.”

 

Dean groans. 

 


End file.
